God’s plan for Seniors In The New Year
Most seniors never get enough exercise.
In His Wisdom, God decreed that seniors become forgetful, so they would have to search for their glasses, keys, and other things, thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.
Then God saw there was another need. In His Wisdom, He made seniors lose co-ordination so they would drop things, requiring them to bend, reach and stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.
Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature, requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good.
So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember it’s God’s will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath.
Nine Important Facts to Remember as You Grow Older:
#9 – Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
#8 – Life is sexually transmitted.
#7 – Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
#6 – Men have two motivations: hunger and hanky panky and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eye, make him a sandwich.
#5 – Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months or years.
#4 – Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
#3 – All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
#2 – In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
#1 – Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.
Don’t ignore this message. This is your only warning. A friend sent this to me – she must have mistakenly assumed I was aging!
Just saying goodbye
To help save the economy, the Government will announce next month that the Immigration Department will start deporting seniors (instead of illegals) in order to lower Social Security and Medicare costs.
OLDER PEOPLE ARE EASIER TO CATCH AND WILL NOT REMEMBER HOW TO GET BACK HOME.
